God allows everything for a reason!
As we are going through things in our life we don’t always immediately see the reasons why. The fact is in many cases we might not ever see the real reasons this side of heaven. However, we are going through them because God has reason whether seen to us or not. Now, I could share many of stories here that I have heard from friends and others, but why not just share my own.
I grew up in a very loving family though very spread out and at times dysfunctional. My father and mother had both been married once before, divorced, married each other and then decided they wanted a child together, me! Though I was not obviously at these events the family stories go like this.
My father walked in and found his previous wife cheating on him with another man, something I would experience later myself. Out of that marriage however produced my one of my brothers. My mom after raising my eldest brother up to college decided to finally leave her husband because of his alcohol abuse. Not saying he abused my mom, just that he drank all the time and my mother finally got tired of it.
After my mom and dad where married my dad really wanted to have another child. My mom was in her mid 40’s and was reluctant but decided too…..thank God for me! We lived in a single wide trailer, yes in a trailer park. My dad worked for the railroad and my mother for a bank until I was born. I remember spending weekends in the corner yard with my family and sharing many fond moments climbing the willow tree in the front yard with my dad. This all changed when I was about 10 years old and my dad found out he received a promotion, we were moving to Ohio.
They immediately bought a house in our new city and dad got settled into his new job. The house we bought came with what I considered the most important feature of all, friendship! The people we bought the house from became lifelong friends and part of our wonderful church family. We found our church because of them, school friends, and even later on their son bought a different house we had, funny how things work out.
This was all important to my mom and me because dad was always working. Those weekends in the yards where all gone, dad worked from early morning to late at night. Now don’t get me wrong, dad was great, he provided for the family and we always took yearly vacations, but through the week it was pretty much mom and I. As you can imagine I became a momma’s boy. We were very close and I could talk to her about anything. She would drive us to church and we were always very involved.
Not much changed over the following years, dad continued to do well in his job, but that meant less time for me and mom. I graduated high school and decided to join the military with a dear friend. During this time my dad once again got a promotion and moved to Tennessee. My mom did her usual, got involved in church while my dad worked.
During this time I was released from the service due to some injuries and we (my wife and I) decided to move to TN to be close to my parents who could probably better help us get a fresh start. This didn’t go as planned and I can only assume the military life had taken a toll on us and soon I found myself in the middle of a separation and eventual annulment of our marriage (long story).
Again I want to make note that I was very close to my mother and even though my father and I had a good relationship we simply did not see much of each other. Tragedy struck when I received a call from my father that my mom had just been killed by a drunk driver. As you can imagine I was devastated, and quickly got mad at God. Why would he have allowed this? My mother was my world! As we made it through this difficult time I asked a lot of questions and made a lot of promises to God. I told him I would be a better father to my children and spend more time with them than my father did me because I wasn’t close to my dad. I would be a strong advocate against drunk driving and that I would live my life for Him and honoring to Him and my mother, she was watching me now (though she always had been).
It wasn’t until a year or so after my mom had passed did I see a big change in my father. Work just wasn’t as important to him anymore, he remembered mom always saying she wanted him to retire so they could spend time together. That change not only impacted him but me, I began to see why God had taken my mom from us, he wanted my father and me to be closer. We began having lunch almost daily with each other, talked all the time, and began to do things together that we never had before. God was answering my questions right in front of my eyes, allowing us to become closer than ever before. I really do not believe that would have ever happened with my mom still here on this earth.
Dad only live about 6 years after my mother passed, he was diagnosed with ALS and soon passed. However, those 6 years where filled with wonderful memories of time spent together, sharing and loving each other to the fullest. Even today God is still answering those questions and fulfilling answers. He allowed me to retire early so that I can spend more time with my boys, one of the things I promised and asked God about. He allowed me to have that special relationship with both my parents that simply cannot be explained in words, and is now allowing me to continue that with my own children and family.
So what is the point to this story? God allows everything for a reason! I could not have imagined my early life with my parents and our family weekend yard fun ever being as different as it was over the years. I could not have imagined the closeness of me and my mother because of my dad’s work and then in a blink of an eye that all change. Then to be allowed to build that relationship back with my father like it had never been before.
Each step in your life is for a bigger and better purpose. God allows you to have trials and tribulations so that something bigger and better can come from it. I have wonderful memories of my parents, and now a strong relationship with my kids. God allows everything for a reason; sometimes we just have to look for it. I can see it in my life, what about yours?